Lessons
by TheOneAndOnly1993
Summary: Flame King teaches his daughter a harsh lesson about being ruler of the Fire Kingdom.


Flame Princess sat in the red throne, hands resting on both arms. Her blazing orange hair guttered and crackled around the little gold crown atop her head like a hearty campfire, cloaking her shoulders and iron breastplate in a sinister ruddy glow. As soon as the last flame person exited the throne room and the door closed behind him, Flame Princess leaned back into her throne, wiping her brow and sighing in relief. The beds of hot coals newly instilled as cushions sizzled and glowed to the touch, feeling like heaven on Flame Princess's aching shoulders.

"Comfortable?"

Flame Princess's weary eyes strained to open. Strung up above the throne room, where the voice came from, was a giant lantern. Inside were two of Flame Princess's greatest foes: Don John and Flame King. But John was fast asleep, and the only other person in the throne room that could possibly be talking to her had his back turned, resting against the lantern's glass. Just the sight of _him _was enough to turn her belly into a pit of hellfire.

Flame Princess breathed hard through her nose, dispelling all the anger bottled up within and smiled pleasantly at the former ruler of the Flame Kingdom. "Yes," she said, "I am, Father."

Flame King turned, his eyes blazing, burning, narrowed. "Tch." He spat a glob of lava against the glass. "That's what I think of your rule, dear daughter," he said in disgust.

Flame Princess leaned forward, hands folded on her lap. She breathed again, responding pleasantly, "The feeling was _always _mutual."

"How childish," he sneered. "You're a terrible flame queen that's running this kingdom into the dirt."

_He's just trying to unnerve you, _she told herself. Flame Princess won't give him the satisfaction. "If you have a problem with me sitting comfortably, Father, by all means you're a flame person too, and I listen to all my subjects have to say. That's what a good ruler would do. But whether or not I actually _act _upon them," she tittered, "well, that's a whole other can of worms."

"Very droll. I'm glad you think ruling is some sort of a game, child. Then when the harsh reality hits, it'll hit hard. No, a _good _ruler doesn't waste his time flittering about his kingdom like a butterfly, attending tea parties and listening to the bleating of every comely stonemason and cobbler." He turned his full body around, cross-legged with his hands resting on either knee. "Do tell daughter, if you know what it takes to be a good flame lord then by all means tell me. Teach me your ways."

He was mocking her. He was mocking her and enjoying it! Flame Princess's eyes alone turned into two smoldering balls of fire and she shot up from her throne. The king smiled. _THIS is a game to him. It's all he has nowadays. _Flame Princess smirked when she realized this. _Alright daddy. I'll play your game. Just to entertain. I DO care for ALL of my subjects, after all. _

Flame Princess settled back into her cushioned throne, sighing at the sensation of her rump being warmed and massaged by the smoldering coals. But before she could open her mouth, Flame King spoke first. "Rule One, daughter: a king should never sit comfortably."

"You could do better than that, Father." Flame Princess wasn't even looking at him while talking; only at her nails. She _knew _that would set him in a rage. "But do tell, why oh why can't a king be comfortable? He's the king! He should be allowed basic comfort, after all." Flame Princess patted herself on the back for that one; she answered so coolly that it may have turned the whole room into ice, she thought.

But Flame King showed no signs of anger in his shuddering face. In fact, he seemed rather amused by the little queen. "A king's job is never easy," he explained. "It shouldn't be easy. And sitting on coals like you're at a niche little sauna shows weakness to your subjects. Do you think they respect you? They snigger and laugh behind your back."

"We're working on conjecture, Father?" She smiled coolly. "Last I checked, everybody hated you, and everybody loves me. So...explain to me how I'm a terrible flame queen? Is it my hair? You know, it probably is my hair. I get compliments about me from my loving subjects all the time."

Flame King suddenly shot up and slammed his fist against the glass. "_LOVING!?_" Flame Princess was relieved of the lantern; otherwise, everyone in the Flame Kingdom would've heard that. "If you think love is what makes a good ruler then you've been spending _far _too much time in the outside world with that candy princess. Love and honesty isn't what makes a good king, dear daughter, it's _FEAR!" _

The harshness of his tone left Flame Princess shuddering. When she allowed the silence to hang for a moment and settle down, goosebumps still dotted her arms, she sensed. "Maybe I have spent a lot of time on the outside world," said Flame Princess, slow and evenly. "I may not be Princess Bubblegum's biggest fan, but she's benevolent."

"Benevolent." The very word seemed to amuse Flame King.

"Yes, benevolent. And in order to have a strong kingdom, you must have the people backing you too."

Flame King spat once more at the glass and watched it slide down. "If your subjects fear you, they'll be more inclined to listen. If they see you as a friend, then they'll just walk all over you when facing your darkest hour. My father learned that the hard way, sweetie! _The hard way! _You're a disgrace to the Flame Kingdom and everything it once stood for." He sat back down, returning to a cross-legged position.

"What it once stood for?" echoed Flame Princess, genuinely bemused. "As a place to be feared, you mean?"

"Exactly," affirmed Flame King. "The Flame Kingdom was a superpower; a place that all in Ooo feared to tread. And now it's being ruled by a little girl who can't even properly usurp her own father, and turning this once mighty empire into a shadow of what it once was."

"That's the general idea. But I'm interested, Father, how did I not "properly" usurp you?" She made air quotes to emphasize her point. "I overthrew you, took your crown and am now sitting on your throne. I'm just a silly little girl, mind you, but I'm pretty sure _I'm_ the queen and _you're_ my prisoner." Her smirk deepened. "Just as you did to me."

"Capital punishment at its finest," Flame King uttered dryly. "You refuse to kill your old man, honey. Instead you hang him like a trophy, rather than kill him and preserve his memory and honor."

To that, Flame Princess burst into laughter, much to the welcomed annoyance of the former king. "Honor? You're the last person in Ooo who should ever claim to have honor, Dad." Flame Princess continued laughing, just as Flame King's eyes continued to narrow and his attitude continued to sour.

"Do not call me 'Dad'," he said. "You're no daughter of mine." The laughter stopped.

Flame Princess's mouth quivered, only for a moment. Though Flame King is a psychopath that had her trapped her entire life, he's still her father. And he just disowned her. "You really mean that?" she asked, her face strained to be as blank as a sheet of paper.

Flame King waved a hand in dismissal, like the question was no more than a pesky fly. "Hide it all you want, sweetie. I know what I just said was like a spear through your heart. But good effort on trying to hide your feelings. Maybe then you'll be ready for Lesson Two: never let your emotions get in the way of your rule. I can see that you've failed stupendously at that so far, trying to force this whole 'honesty' business on everybody because your little human boyfriend lied to you? Pathetic."

Flame Princess let out a scream and her hair burst into a towering inferno. "_DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT! _And the only reason why I chose not to kill you was to show my subjects that I'm not a monster!"

"Only you're just reaffirming my point," said Flame King. "You know it actually hurts me to see you in your mother's armor? Now _she _was a flame queen I'd be afraid of. Ruthless, bloodthirsty. And here you are, begging everybody to smile and be honest while playing dress up in your mother's memory."

"You be quiet!" roared Flame Princess. "It's your fault I can't trust anybody! Just be quiet! Just...just be quiet." He hair returned to its normal shape, and the little queen settled back into her throne. She shifted through the coals, her face still showing signs of distress but not much else.

Now it was the king's turn to smirk and sneer. "Having trouble getting comfortable?" No response. "Am I being too honest now, honey?"

"What'd I just say?" the princess muttered. She leaned forward in her throne and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Please, Father. I'm done with this game."

Flame King chuckled. "Apologies. I'll start lying to make you feel better. Oh, my sweet sociopathic daughter, I was wrong! You _are _a good flame queen!"

"Shut up."

"You really are shaping the Fire Kingdom into a true gem in society!"

"Father, please, I-"

"Your people are most definitely _not _plotting against you."

"Father, I would just like five minutes of-"

"I'm sure none of your siblings are going to try and overthrow you. Usurping's not in our blood, honey! That's just another lie everybody told you growing up!"

"I mean it, Dad. Stop talking, or else."

"Your war against lying and the struggle to schedule a tea party with your friends will be capers for the ages!"

"I'll give you another cold shower, Dad! I swear to Gob I will!"

"You actually _honor_ your mother's memory by wearing her armor like a petulant child!"

"Dad, _shut up!_"

"You, my daughter, will be remembered for such noble acts like sparing your tyrannical father and cushioning your seat with hot coals."

"_Shut up!_"

"No one respects you solely for your power! Everybody loves you for who you are! Especially Finn..."

"I said _SHUT UP!_"

"And there's absolutely, positively _no one _in the Fire Kingdom that thinks you bed that blathering idiot Cinnamon Bun every night."

"_I SAID SHUT UP!_" The entire throne room became a giant furnace. The explosion rocked probably the entire kingdom, and was more than enough to awaken Don John.

"Wha?" he said, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes. "What's happening, FK?"

"I'm teaching my sweet little girl a lesson about being king," he said.

John looked at the inferno roaring about their prison, the inferno that was hot enough to warp the glass. "Seems like you are doing a poor job," he joked.

"No," said the king. "The little hypocrite just doesn't like the cold hard truth."

After several minutes had passed and the flames and smoke finally dissipated, the two former rulers of the Fire Kingdom found Flame Princess kneeling in the dirt, contemplating the smoldering ground ahead.

"And now we reach Lesson Three, Your Grace: control your anger." No response came from the little princess. "Lash out to reaffirm your grip on the peasants. Only you can't do that. You act kind when you need to be angry, and you rage like a toddler whenever someone says something that hurts your little glass feelings." Flame Princess looked up at her sneering father and an uneasy Don John. Her eyes flickered with bottled contempt; both could tell she just wanted to lash out again and thus make an even bigger fool of herself.

"You aren't a proper flame queen," continued the king. "You aren't even a flame person, not really. You're just a broken toy, and I have only myself to blame."

Flame Princess slowly stood, her face a mask that completely covered any trace of emotion. "Guards!" she called. "GUARDS! Get in here!"

A pair of sentinels entered, their charcoal bodies veined with lava and torches clutched in their hands. Both dropped to one knee. "How may we serve, Your Grace?"

"Go to the Ice Kingdom," said the Flame Princess. "Go with one of those giant stone tubs they use to cook soup for feasts and fill it with the iciest water you can find."

Both Flame Guards looked at one another. "Your Grace?" the leftmost one asked.

Flame Princess furrowed her brows. "Did I stutter, whelp? Fill a stone tub with enough icy water to drown my father and Dong John in their lantern! Go GO!"

Without another word, the guards shuffled out of the throne room. And once more, Flame King's callous laughter filled the air. "That's my baby girl! Now all I wonder now, is whether or not you're sending a message like a true flame queen, or are just acting out of anger again. Knowing you, heh, it's probably the latter."


End file.
